Marriage and Autism

Marriage is tough enough without the added stresses of autism! I've talked with several friends who are struggling in their marriage. I'm not here to bash fathers of autistic kids, I know their are many who do such a great job and are so involved in their children's therapies, school and extracurricular activities. However, my reality is far from this. I struggle daily. Work wise, I've had to considerably reduced my hours. We argue because he feels he's taking on all the financial stresses at home....and I feel he's not involved in our (mine and the kids) lives at all....these are our biggest issues. He has to work more hours because of our situation, and I'm left to do everything else on my own. (Thank God for my dad and the BI who have helped so much with Dimarco. Without them, I don't know where I would be right now). I drive my son to Toronto from Kitchener daily to attend his amazing school. In the year and 1/2 we've been attending the BI, my husband has come with me twice. I feel unappreciated, overworked and stressed. Maryna and I were having a discussion about this very topic and she brought up something i never really thought about, but fits perfectly. My life has been turned upside down because of Autism. My values, priorities and perspectives on life have completely changed. Yet the world and people around me have remained the same. Honestly, if i look deep enough, I feel a sort of resentment towords my husband. He has no clue of what is going on in my life. His life remains the same. Go to work, come home, do nothing, eat, watch TV and go to bed. His dinner is made, clothes washed, children entertained and happy....he has nothing to worry about. I get upset when i see him sleeping and I'm up stressing about my sons future. Maybe, I'm selfish! I don't know, I just wish he was there with me at meetings and classes and soccer games. I wish he was there interacting with the kids and taking them out, while I take a bath with the door locked and have time to 'repeat if desired'! I think that often times, it's the mother of a special needs child who gives 110% of herself to making her child better. I've gained 30lbs since my sons diagnosis, i walk around wearing the same and only 4 pairs of black pants that I own, 3 inch roots and an unwaxed mustache loool. I look about 10 years older then what i am, I feel about 20 years older! Maybe my marriage problems are there because I fail to take care of myself!........... feel free to let me know I'm not the only one :) it will make me feel better :)....gonna book a hair appointment now LOL ...until next time .....CHEERS